Season: Three — Episode: 17 Director: Alex Reid — Writer: John Kazlauskas — Aired: March 29, 2018 — Viewers (millions): 2.94 Summary: Laurie, the new district manager, visits the store and decides to make some cuts to save money by firing Myrtle. Amy and Jonah plead with her to not fire anyone and search for other ways to make up the money. Mateo struggles to prove his skills on the cash register.
Oh, Myrtle, yeah. She's sweet. She doesn't do very much. Doesn't do it very well.
— Amy to Laurie
In the Break Room, Glenn nervously announces the impending arrival of the new district manager, Laurie, points out she's a woman and asks the staff to not act weird. She arrives and Glenn introduces her like she's a queen. Laurie is very business-like and curtly says she'll be at the store all day to look for efficiencies and tells the staff to get back to work. Justine, Marcus and Sandra watch Laurie work and make negative comments about her. Amy accuses them of misogyny and Jonah comments that many people think women make better bosses than men. He makes an analogy to Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire which angers Myrtle who challenges Jonah to name movies Rogers was better than Rita Hayworth in. He can't but Marcus does while mixing up the title names. A man drinks all the beers in a six pack and then re-shelves the empty bottles. (♫ The B-52's - Love Shack ♫)
Mateo approaches Garrett and Cheyenne worried about his low score at checkout. He claims Garrett's score is better than his from all the video games Garrett plays and then insults sci-fi, angering Garrett. At Coffee & Bakery, Laurie asks for Amy's help with the personnel files beginning with Sal. In Glenn's Office, Dina confirms with Glenn that they should keep her pregnancy a secret as Dina believes that some bosses don't like "preggos". Amy continues with the personnel review addressing Carol, Sandra and Justine. When Myrtle comes up, Amy jokingly insults her so Laurie indicates Myrtle will be fired. Amy tells Jonah that Myrtle is going to fired and after some questioning, admits its her fault. In Glenn's Office, Glenn tries to convince Laurie to not fire Myrtle without success. Glenn wants to wait until end of day to tell Myrtle and in the meantime, to show her a perfect day. At checkout, Mateo can't get the scanner to work on a food can. In the Break Room, he expresses his frustration to Garrett and Cheyenne. Garrett convinces him to change his checkout stats on Glenn's computer.
We try and keep Carol and Sandra on opposite ends of the store.
In the dressing rooms, Sandra is concerned for Dina's baby when she's asked to tighten a corset on Dina so that her pregnancy doesn't show. She asks Dina to consider padding herself so she looks fat everywhere. Glenn asks Myrtle what her perfect day at the store would be until Garrett interrupts. Amy and Jonah convince Laurie to not fire Myrtle if they can find enough savings to make up Myrtle's salary. In the Warehouse, Amy tries to help Jonah find some cost savings. In Glenn's Office, Garrett accesses Mateo's personnel file on Glenn's computer and changes his checkout stat (UPM score). Mateo wonders if the score is now too high but Garrett convinces him to make the score impressive. At the café, Glenn introduces TV weatherman Skipper Sailes to Myrtle who Glenn mistakenly thinks is Myrtle's favorite weatherman. Myrtle says another weatherman is her favorite and leaves.
I've gotta claw my way to the top.
Laurie approaches Dina with a question on the shrink reports. Dina grabs a heavy box of weights in order to hide her pregnancy and refuses to put it down. When Laurie ignores Dina's discomfort, Dina says she has to go to the bathroom but Laurie tags along while Dina continues to carry the box. Amy and Jonah enter the Break Room and tell the staff they need to take the coffee machine in order to save money so that Laurie won't fire Myrtle. This leads numerous staff to posit whether it is sexist to call a woman a bitch who is acting like one. In the parking lot, Glenn discovers that Myrtle always wanted to drive a Cloud 9 Delivery Truck so he gets her into the driver's seat of one. Laurie approaches Cheyenne, Garrett and Mateo about Mateo's very high UPM score. Garrett suggests that Mateo should demonstrate his checkout technique and Mateo realizes Garrett has set him up for failure due to him insulting sci-fi.
I think we solved sexism.
In the parking lot, Glenn and Marcus watch Myrtle crash the truck into Glenn's SUV. (♫ Fred Astaire - Cheek to Cheek ♫) At a checkout, Mateo stalls demonstrating his scanning technique including turning off the cash register until Cheyenne turns it back on. He then claims he was stung by a bee and runs off. A man holding cauliflowers can't open a plastic bag with one hand. (♫ Blondie - One Way or Another ♫) Amy and Jonah present the savings they've found to Laurie but despite impressing her, Laurie still wants Myrtle fired. With a pile of plastic bags at his feet, the man trying to open the plastic bag gives up in frustration and flings the cauliflowers and bag to the ground. (♫ Joe Jackson - Steppin' Out ♫) Dina, now padded to look fat, interrupts Sandra talking to Laurie. Laurie says Dina looks different which she takes offence to. Leaving the store, Amy curses about Laurie to Jonah. They see the delivery truck on its side and Myrtle shouts it was her best day ever. Glenn tells Myrtle she's fired and keeps chanting "best day".
Best day ever!
Amy's name tag: Amy wears a different name tag in every episode. For this one it's "Kim".
Dina tells Glenn to keep her pregnancy from Laurie to which Glenn replies that everyone loves preggos, Legos and Eggos.
Amy says a catch phrase to Laurie that mentions Arby's and then tells Laurie that Carol and Sandra are kept on opposite sides of the store as their situation is like Crips and Bloods.
While tightening Dina's corset, Sandra tells her that actors Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence and Tyler Perry have all been padded to look fat in movie roles. Dina responds that if she didn't need Sandra's Hulu password, she'd kill her.
Laurie says that Jonah does look like a male Tinker Bell.
While using the computer in Glenn's Office to change Mateo's employee file, Garrett finds Glenn's church's Myspace page. Mateo believes the change is his Tonya Harding moment.
As Glenn presents TV weatherman Skipper Sailes to Myrtle, she says she watches Craig Moeller. Craig is the real-life Meteorologist for St. Louis Channel 5 KSDK.
Amy says she was mad at Jeff when he changed the vending machine supplier as the machines no longer had any Takis.
When Jonah agrees with Marcus, Marcus calls says they are red pill brothers.
As the staff debate whether it is sexist to call a woman a bitch when she's being one, Marcus ponders whether people would defend Hitler if he was a woman and Cheyenne posits Oprah hosting the Holocaust.
Amy and Jonah's presentation to Laurie includes the donkey from Shrek.
Goof 1: As Skipper Sailes asks Glenn for a reimbursement for his cup of coffee, Ted is seen behind them working at the café. A second later as the camera angle changes, Ted walks into the café.
Goof 2: In the Break Room, after Amy puts the coffee maker down (which isn't seen), it is pointing right. When Jonah says "I just mean if we had true equality ...", it is pointing to the front. It flips between pointing to the right and front three more times during the scene.
“Breaker 1-9! This is Myrtle the Turtle sayin' keep it groovy.”— Myrtle
Emma gets a job at the store and Amy asks Jonah for parenting advise. Garrett and Dina argue over who broke up with whom, a cute construction worker flirts with Mateo, Cheyenne and Carol for store perks; Kelly has a rough first day. (Viewers: 4.33 million)
After an attempted robbery, tensions arise between Dina and Jonah. Glenn has a tough time firing a store security guard and Amy discovers her coworkers have been hanging out without her. (Viewers: 4.20 million)
A dead body is discovered in the store on Halloween, throwing Glenn and Dina into a panic and confusing the shoppers. Amy and Garrett get into big trouble using a dating app on Jonah's phone, Mateo is transformed in more ways than one by Cheyenne. (Viewers: 4.61 million)
As Mateo turns to stranger and stranger home remedies for an ear infection, Amy and Jonah decide to offer an alternative to Cloud 9's terrible health insurance plan. Glenn enlists Dina to help him get medical attention for his own embarrassing condition. (Viewers: 3.54 million)
Trying to prove how wild she can be, Amy turns a boring Christmas Eve at the store into a holiday adventure. Jonah and Garrett's roommate issues boil over and Glenn tries to prove to Mateo that Christmas is more than just fine. (Viewers: 4.41 million)
After an employee posts a controversial video online, Dina enlists Cheyenne to help police the rest of the staff's social media accounts. Amy learns something about Jonah that drives her to desperately pursue Instagram views, and Glenn suspects Mateo of rewards card fraud. (Viewers: 3.90 million)
When Amy throws a party to prove how great she's doing post-divorce, she's forced to enlist Dina and Jonah's help, and Dina ends up making the ultimate sacrifice. Glenn and his wife Jerusha are forced to conduct some personal business at Amy's home. (Viewers: 3.85 million)
When Jeff announces that the store could be getting an upgrade, Amy, Jonah and Dina set out to discover the pros and cons. Cheyenne accidentally volunteers to be a surrogate mother for Glenn's baby and tries to get out of it. (Viewers: 3.71 million)
Amy finds herself caught in the middle of a conflict between Cheyenne and her ex-convict mom, Brandi. A personal agreement between Glenn and Dina gets heated when Glenn brings in a lawyer. When Jonah finds out that Kelly believes in angels, Garrett's perfect weekend plans of having the apartment to himself are threatened. (Viewers: 4.22 million)
Still fresh from her divorce, Amy doesn't feel ready to start dating again. But when Mateo tries to set her up with his loser cousin, she gets determined to show everyone she can do better and breaks some hearts in the process. Dina takes advantage of her pregnancy to scam Glenn into accommodating her every whim. (Viewers: 3.46 million)
When gamers invade the store for the release of a hot new video game, Jonah tries to help Amy secure herself a copy of the game, which takes them on an unexpected adventure. Mateo helps Garrett make a good impression on one of his heroes. Glenn and Sandra try to stand up for themselves with customers and end up instigating a breastfeeding "nurse-in." (Viewers: 3.38 million)
When Mateo gets injured, Jonah tries to help him avoid Cloud 9 compensation for fear of his immigration status being revealed. Meanwhile, Amy attempts to convince everyone that she likes Kelly. (Viewers: 3.37 million)
Glenn and Dina offer amnesty to all the employees for any bad things they confess so Garrett and Cheyenne try to decide how to take advantage of it. Meanwhile, Jonah and Amy try to defuse an awkward situation that has the whole store gossiping. (Viewers: 3.93 million)
When Jeff leaves Cloud 9 to work at Target, Garrett leads Glenn to believe that he's poaching other employees to go with him. In return Glenn tries to poach employees from Target. Amy goes on a double date with Dina and, Kelly and Jonah discuss moving in together. (Viewers: 3.85 million)
Laurie, the new district manager, visits the store and decides to make some cuts to save money by firing Myrtle. Amy and Jonah plead with her to not fire anyone and search for other ways to make up the money. Mateo struggles to prove his skills on the cash register. (Viewers: 2.94 million)
When local small businesses set up shop inside Cloud 9, Glenn tries to help his wife Jerusha sell her handmade needlepoint, despite Jonah's concerns that he's pressuring his employees. Meanwhile, Amy doesn't feel Latina enough when a guy flirts with her in Spanish, and Garrett tries to uncover the truth behind a beer vendor's product. (Viewers: 3.17 million)
As lottery mania sweeps the store, Dina incentivizes the employees to sell as many tickets as possible. Jonah helps Amy track down the new district manager to lobby for a raise. (Viewers: 3.08 million)
The store hosts a gender reveal party for Glenn and his wife Jerusha, just as Dina is freaking out at the realities of having to deliver a baby. Amy receives some unsettling news. (Viewers: 2.76 million)
As the store prepares to host a company-wide Town Hall meeting, Amy and Jonah are forced to put their conflicts aside and rally their co-workers to confront the CEO. Glenn struggles with the pressure of speaking to a global audience. (Viewers: 2.97 million)