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S02E18-Glenn

Generic nametag Glenn Sturgis Cloud 9 Superstore logo Manager

Character Information
Status: Alive
Actor: Mark McKinney
First Appearance: "Pilot"
Nicknames: Glennda, G-Nothing, Glenngarry Glenn Loss, Glennema, Glenntil soup, TransGlennder, G-Spot.
Family: Jerusha Sturgis (wife), Kristen, Bobbie Sue, Timur, Leo, Zoe, T'Oliver, Jacob (foster children), Arthur and Marion Sturgis (father and mother), Elias (brother-in-law)
Episode Count: All

Bio

Quote
Some people might find your voice, octave-wise, to be the teeniest, tiniest, bit high.
EndQuote
Garrett, "Grand Re-Opening".



S02E06-Glenn hot dog
Glenn portrayed by Mark McKinney.
Glenn Philip Sturgis is the manager of Cloud 9 Store 1217. He was born in 1960 and is married to Jerusha with whom they have at least 11 foster children. His family owned a hardware store, Sturgis and Sons, for 59 years until Cloud 9 moved into St. Louis and bankrupted their business. Glenn wanted to be a doctor when he was younger. He was born in Kansas City, has four siblings and his brother-in-law is store associate Elias. He is portrayed by actor Mark McKinney.

Personality

Glenn is a devout Christian who attends Life's Works Church and will sometimes proclaim his beliefs in the workplace, much to Dina's dismay. He's a softie, is fun-loving, overly protective of his family and can be naive. His voice is high-pitched and has been compared to a muppet's voice.

Character History

Season One

I used to end these meetings with some wisdom from the Good Book, but then someone reported me to corporate.

–Glenn, "Pilot".

Season Overview

Glenn welcomes new employees Jonah Simms and Mateo Liwanag to the store. He clashes with assistant manager Dina over expressing his Christian views in the workplace. After Jonah makes a major pricing mistake, he gathers the staff in the Break Room and gently reviews what can be learned from the error. A reporter for Cloud 9's corporate magazine "Stratus" comes to do an article on the store which makes Glenn extremely nervous. He is out shone by Jonah which causes self-pity. Glenn shows great enthusiasm when leading the daily moral-building team cheer. Glenn takes great exception to Jonah offering rides to planned parenthood and was interested in adopting Cheyenne's unborn child. Glenn is very concerned with the apathy shown by the staff when an elderly man, Charles, dies in the store and has a service for him at day's end. When Dina wrongly accuses a customer of shoplifting, Glenn plants a DVD on the customer to have leverage, so that the customer won't have Dina fired. He is frantic when rumors spread that a secret shopper may be at the store especially when he thinks it may be Jonah. Glenn shows his tolerance when he learns Mateo is gay and asks him to plan a wedding section of the store for a gay couple, Andy and Russell. Glenn has a melt down when corporate keeps the employees late to hang up new signs and when locked in the store, he initiates a party. Unfortunately, his car is stolen. He is overjoyed when Dina steps down from assistant manager and after a long search, convinces Amy to take the job. After Cheyenne gives birth in the store, he fakes a paid suspension for her (since Cloud 9 gives no maternity leave) and is fired, resulting in the staff walking out in protest.


Episodes
"Pilot": In the Break Room, Glenn welcomes new employees Jonah Simms and Mateo Liwanag to the store. Later, he calls a meeting to review the fallout from a pricing error Jonah made. Glenn races shopping carts with Jonah and Garrett.

"Magazine Profile": Glenn is excited that a reporter, Cynthia, from corporate magazine "Stratus" comes to the store. In men's wear, Glenn shows Amy a hip new suit he plans to wear for the interview. Amy fetches Mateo and Jonah to help make over Glenn so that he'll be confident and the "star" for once. Amy and Mateo give advice that focuses on appearance while Jonah disagrees and thinks the reporter will be interested in ideas Glenn has to improve the store. Amy and Glenn disagree with Jonah. When the Cynthia arrives, Glenn is extremely nervous and botches the introductions. He gives a boring tour and when she asks for his ideas for the store, Jonah interrupts and tries to sell off some ideas that Cynthia likes as Glenn's but when Glenn can't come up with his own ideas, she walks away. At Coffee & Bakery, Amy consoles Glenn. Jonah walks over and tries to convince Glenn to come with him to see Cynthia but Glenn feels he can't compete with Jonah. Amy suggests that Cynthia's interest in Jonah is due to his looks not his ideas. This cheers Glenn up and he and Amy poke fun at Jonah as he walks away. Days later in the Break Room, Glenn unpacks the issue of "Stratus" with the article on the store. Glenn and Garrett are on the cover but Glenn's face is covered. He's excited anyways.

"Shots and Salsa": Glenn is overly enthusiastic leading the daily moral building team cheer and prolongates the cheer. He tries to hide that he wants someone of Latina heritage to man a salsa sample booth but ends up being right in his selections. He takes Carmen to the hospital in his car after she twists her ankle fighting with Amy. He's seen helping Larry with his toothbrush selection and discusses tartar with him. After Amy is caught making a racist impression and Jonah is accused of helping an elderly woman to the front of the Pharmacy line because she is white, Glenn shows a racism training video to the staff.

"Mannequin": In the Break Room, Glenn is seen reading his Bible and criticizes Jonah for offering Cheyenne a ride to the abortion clinic. When Cheyenne is thinking of putting her baby up for adoption, Glenn competes with Dina for the right. He invites Cheyenne and Bo to his office to impress them with his family photos. He runs to the Stock Room when he hears an alarm and thinks Jonah put a person in the compacter when it is a mannequin. Along with Dina, he's interviewed by Cheyenne and Bo at Coffee & Bakery and answers their parenting questions well until he starts arguing with Dina too much.

"Shoplifter": When an elderly man, Charles, dies in the store and everyone is apathetic, Glenn is angry and wants to see some emotion. Dina won't allow him to say a prayer. He seeks advice on appropriate condolence action from Amy who recommends a card. He orders Dina to let a suspected shoplifter Julie go. He asks Cheyenne and Mateo to take up a collection for the dead man's family. Dina doesn't let Julie go and after it's proven Julie didn't steal, Glenn apologies. Julie wants Dina fired so Glenn plants a DVD in Julie's purse. When she tries to leave the store, the alarm triggers and Glenn bargains with Julie to not ask corporate for Dina to be fired. Glenn holds a ceremony to honor the deceased man and Dina allows him to give a Christian sermon.

"Secret Shopper": Glenn is frantic when there are rumors that a secret shopper could visit the store and supports Jonah in placing items in the store "by the book" even though it causes confusion and is against Amy's direction to Jonah. When Mateo suggests Jonah might be the secret shopper, Glenn tries to ingratiate himself to Jonah. He orders Amy to "play nice" with Jonah and later when watching the secret shopper's video of the store, he tells the staff they are save because the Richmond Heights store had a meth lab and a dog fighting ring.

"Color Wars": Glenn initiates a sales competition and divides the staff into Red and Gold teams. He doesn't tell them the prize is $100 each but Amy finds out. To cheer Dina up (one of her birds has died), he asks her to plan a party for the winning team and they argue over clowns and piñatas. He has difficulties getting Marin to put writing on the party cake the way he wants. He and Dina bond over creating a piñata and compare their partnership to jazz. Glenn announces the Gold Team won at the party.

"Wedding Day Sale": Glenn finds out Mateo is gay and when a gay couple, Andy and Russell, approaches them seeking advice. He asks Mateo to help him put together a display for gay weddings. Mateo is surprised that Glenn is so tolerant but goes too far by suggesting Jesus may have been gay. When showing the gay couple the display, Glenn has surprises including lighting and confetti that he hopes will make the display "gayer".

"All-Nighter": Glenn reluctantly keeps everyone late to put up new signage and is frustrated with corporate. When everyone is locked in the store, he finds the code is in his SUV. After asking a stranger outside the store to get the key, he steals Glenn's car. Glenn reveals that his father's hardware store was put out of business by Cloud 9. After Garrett complains that Glenn likes everything about the store, Glenn starts to complain and finally erupts. He starts a party with liquor he's intentionally damaged and bonds with the staff. He tells everyone that he and his wife had sex in his office. During the party, he jumps into a inflatable pool filled with styrofoam and at the fashion show, he dresses in a teddy bear costume. He tries to leave a complaint message with corporate but can't.

"Demotion": After Dina steps down as assistant manager, Glenn offers the job to Amy who declines. He then asks Amy's help in finding a replacement and together they interview numerous staff. In the end, he tries to do both jobs himself until Amy relents and accepts the job. He casually tells her the job perks, one of which is the company will pay half the cost of her college courses.

"Labor": During Cheyenne's false labor, Glenn takes charge and offers to deliver the baby since he played an abortion doctor in a hell house. He's very resentful when corporate sends union buster Steve to the store and when role-playing with him, can't think of another name for his character other than Steve. When Cheyenne gives birth, Glenn baptizes her baby out of habit and "suspends" her with six weeks paid leave since the company won't pay for maternity leave. He is fired and the staff walk out in protest.

Season Two

Baby face. Kind eyes. Soft skin. Cute tummy. You'd be very popular.

Marcus describing how Glenn would be viewed in prison, "Election Day".

Season Overview

Glenn loves America and he tried to prove to Mateo that America was the best country in the world. He ends up learning to embrace other cultures. During the staff strike, Glenn's car is damaged by Dina with a pressure washer. The staff are successful in getting Glenn his job back. After the strike, district manager Jeff Sutin remains on site causing Glenn to play act that he is a hard-ass boss. Glenn is distressed to learn that the Pharmacy sells the morning-after pill so he buys the entire stock and then tries to re-sell them when he learns how expensive they are. Glenn initiates drug testing for the staff but cancels it much to Dina's disappointment. Glenn lines up a rental house for Bo and Cheyenne and co-signs the rental agreement. He holds a competition for the store's first Santa which Cody wins. On Black Friday, he takes too many relaxation pills and has an episode. In December, he tries to cheer the staff up including using a monkey puppet but ends up helping Amy by listening as she relates the rough state of her marriage. He tries to sign Jonah to a 30 year employment contract and later tells the staff Amy is in marriage counselling. Glenn battles an internet troll and brings his kids to work to have a group photo taken for his wife. When he is told by Jeff to lay off 10% of his staff he invites Jeff to Cheyenne's Wedding and blurts out the pending firings to everyone. Just before the store is hit by a tornado, he fires six staff after which the store and his car are destroyed by the tornado.


Episodes
"Olympics": In celebration of the 2016 Olympics, Glenn holds the store's own Olympics opening ceremony featuring the employees. When he asks Myrtle to light a cauldron, she mistakenly lights a stack of toilet paper. Glenn tries to put the fire out but instead, blows it into a BBQ and lighter fluid display. Fire and panic spreads in the store. In the Break Room 17 days later, Glenn announces an Olympics closing day ceremony. Dinah argues with him and says she'll do it since his poor planning led to the opening ceremony disaster. Glenn asks about Mateo's Philippines flag pin which he is wearing to show pride for his home country. Glenn is a bit put off Mateo isn't cheering for the USA and gives inane reasons why the USA is "number one" in countries and planets. Glenn approaches Mateo and points out American made products, rivers and starts singing "America the Beautiful" which Mateo joins in singing quizzically. Glenn models US made blue jeans for Mateo. Glenn starts criticizing the Philippines to Jonah who teaches Glenn that the Olympics is about bringing countries together. In the Break Room, Glenn is now trying to be inclusive and has brought different world food. He positively mentions the Philippines to Mateo who because of his undocumented status, has now become very USA patriotic. Mateo goes to Glenn's Office to confess he's not a citizen but Glenn takes his words to mean that he doesn't feel accepted. Glenn says Mateo is an American and he is Filipino and asks for Mateo's Philippines flag pin. He slaps it onto his chest, it pierces his skin and bone and he grimaces in pain. At day end outside the store, at Dina's awesome Olympic closing ceremony, Glenn hugs Mateo and says this show could happen in any country.

"Strike": The staff have walked out in protest over Glenn being fired and Dina has told them the store will be fine without them. Glenn starts raspberrying Dina, everyone cheers and then goes silent, wondering what to do next. After Amy and Jonah can't reach a deal with district manager Jeff Sutin, the staff go on strike. In order to break the strike, Dina brings a pressure washer and ends up breaking two windows in Glenn's car. In order to stop people from shopping in the store, the strikers go in to disrupt shopping which includes Glenn tipping over a cage with balls in it. Jeff addresses the strikers and says anyone who signs an apology letter gets their job back and mistakes Brett for the store manager instead of Glenn. Everyone returns to work.

"Back to Work": As Jeff is still on site, Glenn is concerned he might be fired again so pretends to be a hard-ass boss. He yells at the staff in the Break Room but gets trapped in an overturned chair and needs to be helped out. Glenn is displaying his fake strictness to Jeff and won't let Janet go to the doctor but Jeff allows it. Jeff and Glenn interrupt Amy asking staff for help finding Marcus' severed thumb and pretends she is giving a tornado preparedness talk. Jeff and Glenn happen on a group discussing the search when a customer walks up with the guacamole and thumb. Amy is worried Jeff will fire her for the accident but Glenn says everyone will walk out to support her.

"Guns, Pills, and Birds": Glenn sympathizes with Jonah not wanting to work the gun counter as he has a moral objection to the morning after pill which to his shock, he finds the store sells. Glenn go to the Pharmacy and tries to see if Tate has a moral objection to selling the morning after pill. Tate loves the pill and won't stop selling them. A young couple is buying the morning after pill when they are interrupted by Glenn. He tries to guilt them by showing pictures of his kids but can't get his phone to work. Glenn cuts in front of them and buys all the pills. Tate rings Glenn's pill purchase up which is very pricey. Glenn says he can't afford it and wants to return them. Tate refuses as it's illegal. Glenn approaches the couple he cut in front of and offers to sell them some pills. Later, during the protest by NRA members, Glenn climbs on a counter to talk about morality as a crow flies over his head which prompts the protesters to target the crow which Dina stops. Glenn sets up a stand at the store front and is selling the morning after pills on sale.

"Spokesman Scandal": The company spokesperson, Kyle the Cloud 9 Cloud is shown in a news broadcast that Glenn, Jonah, Amy, Dina and Garrett are watching. It's reported that Kyle killed and ate fourteen Cloud 9 customers. Glenn asks Amy to turn the TV off but she ends up putting the show on all the in-store TVs. Glenn tries to turn it off but puts the audio on the store P.A. system for all customers to hear. To drown out the disturbing news, Glenn leads the others in a Christian song. Glenn believes Kyle is innocent as he met him at a conference and found him to be a good guy. Glenn learns that they found marijuana at Kyle's house so he believes this provides an excuse for his crimes. Glenn tells Amy and Jonah that Kyle was killing people because he was high. They say that if this were true, half the employees would be killers. Glenn is shocked. Glenn goes into the Stock Room and starts to sniff Cody. Dina sees him doing this and Glenn asks her if they should start drug testing the staff. Glenn is having second thoughts about the drug testing when he finds out Dina wants to fire those that fail. Amy helps Glenn talk through the drug testing situation and he orders Dina to stop the tests much to Cody's relief.

"Dog Adoption Day": In the Break Room, Glenn asks for two volunteers and Mateo immediately raises his hand. Jonah reluctantly volunteers and Glenn announces that they will run a dog adoption center which evokes jealousy from everyone. Glenn asks for another volunteer and many staff raise their hand. He picks Sandra to get rid of hornet's nests. In the store Bo and Cheyenne are fighting so bad that customers stop to film them. Amy and Glenn step in to break the fight up. At Coffee & Bakery, Glenn hears that Bo and Cheyenne are living in a cramped basement and convinces him to look at some places to live. Kathy, a realtor from Glenn's church shows Bo and Glenn a rental house that seems perfect for a young couple. Kathy asks if Glenn will co-sign the agreement which he is reluctant to do. Glenn won't sign the agreement citing his own family's needs. Bo understands but as he tells Glenn all the things his family would have done in the house, Glenn changes his mind and signs.

"Halloween Theft": On Halloween, Glenn is dressed as a hot dog and is giving candy to kids. He gives into Dina announcing staff interrogations when irregular produce goes missing. Dina questions Glenn who can't sit down in his hot dog costume despite numerous attempts. Amy tells Mateo and Glenn that the Cloud 9 Chesterfield Store hasn't thrown out their irregular produce so they can collect it and pass it off as being misplaced in their store. They arrive at Chesterfield and Glenn is immediately critical of the store and wanders off. Amy and Mateo collect irregular produce while Glenn runs into the store manager Bobby. Glenn watches Bobby interact cheerfully with his assistant manager Kelly and is amazed, then jealous. Glenn interrupts Dina questioning Garrett and produces the fruit. Dina is suspicious and since Garrett admitted to stealing it, she says no one is leaving until she finds out the truth. Glenn over-rides her and says the investigation is over.

"Election Day": The store is a voting station on Election Day 2016 and Glenn and Dina are arguing where the voters should line up. Polling station worker Dorothy tells Dina they should open but Dina and Glenn fight over who should enter the code to open the doors. They both put in the code and are locked-out for 5 minutes. Jonah and Amy complain to Glenn about election pamphlets Cloud 9 distributed to the staff telling them to vote for a pro-business candidate and derides one who is pro-worker. Glenn doesn't see a problem with the pamphlet and mentions that no one read his emergency safety memo that details the store got an "F" in tornado preparedness. As Dina is talking to poll worker Syd, Glenn interrupts with an urn of coffee. Syd goes to get a danish, Dina won't budge from the table Glenn wants to put the urn on and they spill the coffee into a polling box ruining the ballots. In Glenn's office, Dina and Glenn are drying the ballots with a hair dryer until Glenn brings in a large fan which blows them out his window. They go outside to search for them but the ballots are gone. Exiting the washroom, Syd is stopped by Glenn and Dina who try to discretely ask him the penalty for voter fraud. When they find out it is severe they are alarmed. Glenn and Dina separately visit Marcus in the Warehouse to ask his advice as he's been in prison. Where two people have committed a crime that's been witnessed, he says that one should get the other confessing on tape for a reduced sentence. In Glenn's Office, Glenn and Dina try to get each other to talk about the ballot box incident while recording each other.

"Seasonal Help": Dina overhears Jonah and a reluctant Amy asking if Adam can be hired but Glenn says they are full. Amy has to fake anger and Glenn changes his mind. The Break Room is jammed with temp workers who Glenn welcomes. In Glenn's Office, Tom, an excellent candidate for store Santa is being interviewed by Glenn. Glenn starts a competition among other Santa applicants. Glenn is sitting on Santa candidate Cody's lap as Amy asks if Adam can work a different shift than her. Glenn says he's not surprised which evokes disbelieve from Amy. Glenn is done putting the Santa applicants through his testing and chooses Tom. When Tom learns the job has no pay, all the Santas leave except for Cody.

"Black Friday": On Black Friday, Glenn gives a motivation speech with emphasis on calmness to the staff. At the Pharmacy, Glenn seeks advice from Tate on taking some relaxation pills to cope with the stress. With the customers milling at the front door, Glenn starts to read from the Bible and the doors burst open. Amy tells Glenn she feels sick and needs to go which prompts him to take a pill. Glenn encounters a woman who takes a toy from a child which prompts him to take another pill. Glenn informs the staff that the potluck gave them food poisoning and half the employees are gone. Glenn isn't angry that everyone is in the Break Room but wonders what is happening in the store. Everyone in the Break Room starts arguing over who poisoned them and as Jonah tries to rally everyone, Glenn very uncharacteristically curses at him and everyone and tells them to shut up. Glenn then can't remember if he said anything. Garrett suggests everyone leave and when Glenn agrees, he can't believe it. At day's end, the staff aren't kind in getting customers to leave. Glenn operates a fork lift festooned with brooms to sweep the customers out. Glenn asks if someone can check if Myrtle is alive.

"Lost and Found": At the Pharmacy, Glenn seeks advice from Tate on seasonal depression as he's concerned for the staff. Glenn is shocked to learn that about 20 of them take anti-depressants. He plans to combat this with laughter. Glenn approaches Cheyenne who is sad about the lost and found draw. He tries to cheer her up by making a balloon animal but the balloon snaps into her eye and she runs away crying. Glenn sprays silly string on Mateo which ruins the leather jacket from the draw. Glenn dances for Garrett which starts him grinning. Glenn tries to cheer up Dina with a monkey puppet but Dina's harsh criticism ends up depressing him. Dressed as a mime, Glenn finds Jonah stocking shelves and performs an act. Jonah tops Glenn's act and when a child who is watching cheers, it angers Glenn. In the Warehouse, Amy is doing inventory when Glenn enters dressed in a one-man band outfit. Glenn is discouraged that he's tried to cheer the staff up but can't. She confides the troubled state of her marriage to him which she finds helpful and it cheers her up.

"Rebranding": An old college mate of Jonah's, Rex shows a video of Jonah making a business presentation in college which evokes a lot of teasing from Glenn, Amy and Garrett. Rex mentions that Jonah's enrolment is still active and he can go back to school. This brings concern from Amy and Glenn. In Glenn's Office, Jonah is asked by Glenn to sign a new contract which he finds has a 30 year term. Glenn gets frantic when Jonah won't sign even promising to fire others to keep him. Later, having heard about Jonah's enrolment cancellation, Glenn hugs him and says he'll always have a place at the store and then leaps in the air and fist pumps.

"Ladies' Lunch": In the Break Room, Glenn gets the staff's hopes up by waving a wad of money and then tells them cash is all they can accept at the store that day as the computer system is down. Amy is absent and when staff speculate why, Glenn says it's for personal reasons. As they guess the reason, Glenn corrects them and finally spills that she's in marriage counselling. Jonah and Garrett develop a "taped muffin" game and hit Mateo with the muffin. He tattles to Glenn but they get them both interested in the game which now includes blockers and banking shots off mannequins. At the taped muffin game, Mateo body checks Glenn into a glass table which gives him a concussion. A drunk Dina and a concussed Glenn have an inane conversation.

"Valentine's Day": Having seen Miles propose to Lisa, Glenn wonders if other staff are compatible which Amy doesn't think is a good idea. Later, Glenn catches Amy in the Surveillance Office having tried to match Myrtle and Arthur up and joins in. In the Break Room, Amy and Glenn are waiting for Myrtle having filled her locker with Valentines gifts which are purportedly from Arthur. They encourage her to look at a card but when she sees Arthur's name, she burst into tears and exclaims that he won't leave her alone. In Glenn's Office, Amy and Glenn are on the phone with corporate who informs them that Myrtle has filed a sexual harassment complaint against them both and Arthur. Corporate relates Myrtle's complaint to Amy and Glenn and while the facts are essentially true, it misrepresents their well-meaning intent. Glenn's responds also worsen the situation. Later, Jeff shows a sexual harassment video to the staff which Glenn objects to saying love can't be taken out of the work place. Glenn relates a story of persistence which resulted in his wife Jerusha, who was working at Glenn's father's hardware store, finally saying yes to dating him. Glenn further clarifies his story - Jerusha agreed to date him to avoid being fired. It dawns on Glenn that he did harass his wife. Glenn calls Jerusha to apologize for harassing her.

"Super Hot Store": In Glenn's Office, Glenn is on the phone trying to get corporate to address the heating problem as they control the store's systems. Corporate says their computers say the temperature is fine. Glenn complains and they put him on hold. Garrett enters Glenn's office to see how he's progressing fixing the heat problem. Glenn has turned on the AC in his office and Garrett notices how cool it is. He convinces Glenn to fix the problem on his own and Glenn leaves. Glenn and Cheyenne venture onto the store's roof to fix the heating problem. Cheyenne admires Glenn's handyman skills. Glenn and Cheyenne look at the complex control circuitry. Glenn tries using the interface but changes the language. Glenn is discouraged he failed to fix the heating problem. Cheyenne tries to cheer him up but fails. Glenn pronounces himself useless. Cheyenne and Glenn talk about their mutual desire to travel and Glenn suggests they both just leave and go together. Cheyenne talks about her responsibilities but relents to cheer Glenn up. Back in the store, Glenn talks about where he and Cheyenne will travel when she points out the store is cool and that Glenn must have fixed the problem. He feels useful again and slips in the spilt yogurt.

"Wellness Fair": In Glenn's Office, Glenn is on the phone with Amy who is calling in sick. The store's Wellness Fair has started featuring medical advice and screenings. Jonah tells Glenn that he wanted to be a doctor and when Glenn says he did too, Jonah's reaction insults Glenn who leaves. Glenn talks to the Fair's nurse named Ella and shows his annoyance when Jonah shows up with cups for a juice station Glenn set up. Glenn believes juice is healthy until both Jonah and Ella dissuade him from this belief. Jonah and Ella discuss health films in detail and Glenn feels left out. Glenn thinks Sandra is pregnant and wants an abortion so Glenn takes Sandra through the maternity section and not so discreetly sees how she feels about babies. Jonah sees Glenn making Sandra rock a baby doll and then puts it in the garbage to illustrate abortion. Jonah sees this and objects to Glenn forcing his views on Sandra and an argument on abortion breaks out between them. As customers stop to watch the argument, Amy steps in and announces that it was a skit. Glenn starts to swoon and complains of dizziness. Jonah sits him down and tries to help him but Glenn refuses. In the Break Room, Glenn is better and explains the problem was low blood sugar as he cut down on the amount of juice he drank that day. Jeff has arrived and criticizes the abortion argument. Glenn shoots back that Jeff shouldn't be giving lectures about responsibility given that he impregnated Sandra. Sandra says she's not pregnant and Jeff is confused as he doesn't know Sandra and he announces that he's gay. Sandra also admits that she made the relationship with Jeff up to get attention and Glenn can't believe Jeff is gay. Outside, Jonah sees Glenn holding a cigarette and makes an apology of sorts to him.

"Integrity Award": When Glenn announces a company integrity award (one per store) and the winner attends a buffet dinner, Garrett fakes not understanding the concept of buffet to annoy Glenn. Garrett rescues a veteran's dog from the snow which threatens Glenn's chance of winning the award. Glenn talks to Garrett about the award and since Garrett doesn't care about it, he announces on the store's P.A. system that he doesn't want to be nominated. In Glenn's Office, corporate praises Garrett over the phone which results in Glenn deriding him. Out of spite, Garrett makes an announcement that he will accept nominations for the award. Glenn is complaining to Garrett that him saving the dog has taken him out of the running for the award. They both get teary but don't know why and later their noses start to bleed. They evacuate the store, their symptoms caused by Mateo releasing too many bug bombs in the Break Room.

"Mateo's Last Day": Glenn reads some Yelp! reviews but is concerned with a bad one from "Frenchfryguy81" that Amy tries to get him to ignore. Glenn has invited "Frenchfryguy81" (Tim) to the store and introduces him to Amy. Tim is soft-spoken and is very apologetic about his bad review. Glenn goes out of his way make Tim feel special. Glenn sees Tim has updated his review with a very nasty and inaccurate account of Glenn's tour. Glenn invites Tim back to the store to share some french fries and talk. Tim is again apologetic for his bad review but later writes another nasty one. In Glenn's Office, Amy is incensed to read Tim's latest review in which he calls her names and a psycho stalker. Glenn laughs at the review and calls Tim a good writer.

"Glenn's Kids": In the Break Room, Glenn has brought his foster children to the store in order to have a family picture taken for his wife Jerusha. The staff and kids are together and Leo draws a penis on the back of Mateo's head. Timur is undergoing therapy in which he constantly holds onto Glenn's belt and Marcus asks about Glenn's 25 year old daughter Kristen and then makes a creepy suggestion. In the Warehouse, Glenn is retrieving a back drop for the family photo while talking to Cheyenne. In the store, Glenn sees Jonah and Kristen flirting and flags down Amy. He confides that they dating would be a disaster as she is in school and Jonah would distract her from her studies too much. As Glenn is setting up the photo display, Jonah asks him if he can date Kristen while Amy and Timur eavesdrop. Glenn says yes even though he doesn't want to. He asks Amy to talk to Kristen to stop her from dating Jonah as he doesn't want to be the bad guy. Jonah tries to find out Glenn's true feelings about him dating Kristen. Glenn says that has a crush on Jonah. Jonah leaves and Glenn rues his lie to Timur. At the photo backdrop, Jonah gathers Kristen, Amy and Glenn to find out the truth. Glenn and Amy both say the other is lying and argue back and forth until Kristen asks Glenn if he is meddling in her life. Seeing how anguished Glenn is, Amy relents and says she was lying and that she does have a crush on Jonah (even though she wasn't lying). Timur finally speaks and tries to tell the truth but Glenn shuts him up. When Glenn's family is gathered for the picture, Glenn invites Jonah to be part of the photo and whispers to him that if he hurts Kristen, he'll murder him.

"Spring Cleaning": In Glenn's Office, Bo interviews for a job at the store with Cheyenne's help to make money for their wedding. He doesn't understand that Glenn is the hiring manager and answers all the questions flippantly until Cheyenne wises him up. He then insincerely says what Glenn wants to hear. In the Break Room, Glenn introduces Bo who is wearing an offensive t shirt. He also announces that they'll be spring cleaning and makes a bad pun which only Jonah laughs at. Jonah is trying to ingratiate himself to Glenn as he is dating his daughter Kristen. Jonah brings Glenn some coffee and they make their first lunch plans. Glenn and Jonah have lunch at El Norte, a Mexican restaurant. Glenn doesn't know Mexican food so Jonah orders for them. He and Jonah get to know one another but Glenn asks Jonah very odd questions and finds Jonah's more traditional questions strange. Glenn wants to stay longer but Jonah tells him the other employees might get jealous if Jonah has too long a lunch. Glenn makes Jonah his assistant and indicates they can now hang out all day. Jonah realizes that Glenn wants to do everything with him including always going to the bathroom together. In the bathroom, Glenn won't give Jonah any personal space so Jonah can't go. Glenn asks him to a baseball game but Jonah reminds him the staff may get jealous. In the Break Room, Glenn holds a fixed draw for a staff member to go to a baseball game with him which Jonah wins. Garrett suggests they go to the game early and make a day of it. Jonah makes excuses why he can't go and finally blurts out that he doesn't want to hang out with Glenn. Jonah explains that he was just trying to get to know Glenn better so he'd approve of him dating Kristen. Glenn receives a phone call from Jeff telling him to fire 10% of the staff.

"Cheyenne's Wedding": At the wedding hall, Glenn is looking at the wedding gifts with Garrett and lamenting their cost. He reveals to Garrett that he's been told to lay off six workers and asks him to keep it a secret. Glenn is still sad about the lay-offs as he looks at everyone gathering for the ceremony. He suggests to Garrett that he should invite Jeff Sutin to the wedding in order to change his mind about firing staff. Jeff comes and seeing Jeff about to leave, Glenn grabs the mic and in front of everyone, begs Jeff to not make him fire anyone from his work "family".

"Tornado": It's a rainy day as manager Glenn holds a staff meeting in the store front to discuss a raccoon problem but everyone wants to know who is going to be laid off. Glenn tells them he has until the end of the day to decide but the staff don't want to wait that long. Glenn receives a call from district manager Jeff Sutin asking who will be laid off but Glenn still can't decide. Seeing staff getting squirrely, Amy goes to Glenn's Office and finds he's spread all the employee files on his office floor. Amy tries to help Glenn rate the employees but his rating system keeps escalating making it meaningless. In frustration, Amy says everyone would have a different opinion of who should be fired prompting Glenn to gather all employees into the Break Room and have them decide. Marcus and Sandra are singled out. Eugene reminds Glenn he has three minutes to decide and Glenn sneaks out of the room. Glenn tries to sneak out of the store but is blocked by the staff. He prays for help and finally when the deadline is reached, blurts out Chris, Alex, Cody, Justine, Henry and Marcus are laid off. Glenn, some customers and staff shelter in the Stock Room including several staff whom he just fired. Glenn tries to calm everyone by singing. The tornado hits the store and starts tearing it apart. Glenn starts praying to various gods. Having prayed to several gods, Glenn prays to Allah and the storm stops. Glenn believes a higher power was looking after them and appears angry. Glenn and Garrett find that Glenn's car has been destroyed.

Season Three

How come no one ever told me that I sounded like that?

–Glenn, "Grand Re-Opening".

Season Overview

With the store being rebuilt after the tornado, Glenn finds out he mis-interpreted a memo from Jeff and the store is opening in four hours. This causes the staff to break into a frenzy of activities to try and ready the store. Glenn does his best to stall the opening ceremony with Howie. Glenn tries to write a eulogy for Brett and manage the staff's mood after the funeral. Glenn welcomes Emma as a part-time worker and give Amy advice on parenting a teenager. Glenn has difficulty firing security guard Ken. He enlists Dina's help to diagnose a mole in a private area. Glenn spends Christmas Eve trying to get Mateo in the spirit and awes everyone with a dazzling light display. Glenn catches Mateo signing up fake customers for the store's rewards card and makes Mateo undergo a baptism to show he is truly sorry. He brings his wife Jerusha to Amy's Golden Globes Party and they have sex in Amy's bedroom. After realizing Cheyenne doesn't want to be his surrogate mother, Dina agrees to it. He and Dina have a conflict over a surrogacy agreement. Dina takes advantage of her pregnancy to scam Glenn into accommodating her every whim. Glenn cries when he learns that Dina's impregnation was successful. Glenn and Garrett try to poach staff from Target. Glenn is nervous about new district manager Laurie and is forced by her to fire Myrtle. Glenn tries different ways to get people to buy crafts from Jerusha. Glenn and Jerusha see an ultrasound of their baby but Garrett loses the information of the baby's gender and Glenn deals with Dina panicking with the realities of child birth. Dina and Glenn make a staff video in order to have the store picked to host a Cloud 9 town hall and a visit from the CEO. Glenn's anxiety over a giving a live-stream speech to all Cloud 9 stores results in him having a "human moment" on camera and blaming it on CEO Neil.


Episodes
"Grand Re-Opening": Two months after the tornado that destroyed Cloud 9 Store 1217, the store is being rebuilt. Glenn is addressing the staff in the store but is having a hard time as he is in the way of the construction workers. Glenn ponders why the tornado stopped when he prayed to Allah and what role Allah has compared to Jesus. He moves the staff through various places in the under construction store including the Break Room but each time is interrupted by noise, workers or other distractions. Finally, he finishes his talk outside, 20 minutes away from the store. As everyone starts the walk back to the store, Glenn launches into a morning cheer. In Glenn's Office, Glenn is on the phone with Jeff and is shocked to find out that the store opening is that day, not in a week's time. Jeff says he'll see Glenn at 3:00pm for the opening and that Howie Mandel will be appearing. He shares the email with Amy and Dina and they argue over whether the wording is clear or not. Glenn is berating Earl's work on stocking a shelf so in order to distract him, Amy asks how his speech for the store opening is going. Glenn didn't realize he needed to make one and he leaves in a huff. Glenn confides to Garrett that he's nervous about his speech which Garrett takes to mean that it's due to Glenn's high voice. Glenn looks confused until he listens to a recording of his voice with Amy and Jonah. He can't understand why his voice sounds high on the recording but they are interrupted by Dina who has found Minions costumes. In the parking lot, Glenn is testing the microphone with a voice modulator that makes his voice sound deeper. The opening is nigh but Dina says they need another hour so Glenn will have to stall. At the opening, Glenn makes a short, nervous speech so Jeff goes to cut the ribbon and let customers in the store. To stall, Glenn asks Howie to perform but he indicates he's only been paid to appear. Glenn says Jonah can stay at his house until Garrett takes pity on Jonah and offers his place.

"Brett Is Dead": After Brett's funeral, Glenn asks how Cheyenne and Mateo are and when Mateo responds negatively, he thinks they are mourning Brett and offers them a break to reflect. They both fake loss and speak of their relationship with Brett in order to get time off work. After Dina order everyone into the Storm Shelter, Glenn opens the door and apologies to the customers for the false alarm. In the Break Room, Mateo and Cheyenne are looking at their phones when Glenn enters. They fake sorrow and Glenn says he wants to write a tribute for Brett for the store newsletter. Since they indicated they knew him well, Glenn asks personal questions about Brett to which they make up answers. Amy can't dissuade Dina from fixating on getting supplies for the shelter so she goes to Glenn's Office and tells Glenn that Dina needs professional help. Glenn gathers the staff in the Break Room to address the anxiety Dina is having. However, since the company has no manual on dealing with tornadoes, he uses one that deals with workplace shootings but uses the word "tornado" instead of "gun" when reading the manual. After Brett's return, Amy and Glenn watch Brett bag items and she explains that he escaped the tornado by driving away in his car. The store emailed the wrong Brett so he never knew he was supposed to return to work.

"Part-Time Hires": Glenn welcomes Emma as a part-time worker with a video tribute and says he keeps copies of all photos employees have developed at the store. Everyone applauds and exits as Glenn also announces that Kelly has started working at the store. Emma shelves items in the wrong area and won't listen to Jonah so he follows Amy's direction and yells at Emma. Glenn interjects, yells at Jonah and tells him to stay away from Emma while she smiles behind Glenn's back. Amy shares her concerns about Emma with Glenn. He gets her to realize that Emma's churlish behaviour is normal for a teenager so Amy can go back to being strict with her. Much to her surprise, Glenn congratulates Kelly on a great first day. He then informs her that she won't be paid for the day as she didn't clock in.

"Workplace Bullying": At customer service, Garrett complains to Glenn about store security guard Ken, who slept in and missed the robbery. Glenn hates confrontation and is reluctant to fire him. In Glenn's Office, Glenn thinks that he's fired Ken but Ken thinks he's being asked to leave the office. Glenn can't believe it when he sees Ken at the front door and tells him he doesn't want him to be a security guard anymore. Ken takes this to mean he'll be a sales associate instead. In the store, Garrett sarcastically tells Glenn he's good at firing employees as they watch Ken manhandle a customer.

"Sal's Dead": In the Break Room, Glenn announces that the dead body found in the drywall was that of Sal, a creepy employee who hasn't been seen in a year. Glenn says Sal was drilling a hole in the drywall by the women's bathroom when his foot became caught in a cross-beam and he starved to death. He tells the staff to not disturb the body until the coroner arrives. Glenn has Jonah and Dina hang a sheet over the hole in the drywall where Sal's face can be seen. Glenn tugs at the sheet which results in Sal's body tearing the drywall and sticking out further. A group of customers is looking at Sal's corpse which they think is a dummy. Glenn tells them it is a real dead body but they don't believe him. Glenn has put signs around Sal indicating it's a real dead body. He announces on the P.A. system that customers should stay away as it is extremely disturbing but this attracts more customers who believe it is a Halloween display.

"Health Fund": In Glenn's Office, Glenn is on the phone with an automated attendant trying to get an appointment with a dermatologist as he has a mole on his "bathing suit area". In the Break Room, Glenn sits with Dina and Sandra and asks how Dina figured out her mole was cancerous. Dina offers to take a look at Glenn's mole. Due to the mole's location, Glenn refuses to let Dina look. But when she mentions that the longer he waits, the more doctors will have to cut out (while she is slicing an apple with a knife), Glenn becomes visibly worried. In his office, Glenn looks up "mole penis" on the internet and is shocked by the image results. Garrett comes into the office for his review so Glenn slams the monitor down and tells him to come back later. At the Pharmacy, Glenn has Tate examine the mole on his penis but Tate also drops his pants and won't examine Glenn until he looks at his penis. Reluctantly, Glenn does look and is shocked by what he sees. In Glenn's office, Glenn is behind a sheet with a hole in it and asks Dina to pretend that it isn't him when he sticks his penis through the hole. Glenn puts his penis through the hole but Dina can't see any mole since it is on the underside. She uses a pencil to lift it up. Dina doesn't know if the mole is cancerous and suggests sending a photo to her doctor. As she's taking a picture, Garrett returns for his review. He's stunned by what he sees and rolls away mumbling. Dina and Glenn are waiting for a call from Dina's doctor. Glenn regrets never having a biological child and realizes if he has penis cancer he may never have one. The doctor calls with good news much to Glenn's relief. Glenn thanks Dina who reminds him that she has a picture of his penis. After she leaves Glenn says he's going to have a baby.

"Christmas Eve": Dina catches Glenn finishing a nativity scene which Glenn tries to pass off as a "winter barn display". To get Glenn to admit the truth, Dina starts drop kicking the wise men but when she picks up Baby Jesus, Glenn grabs him in horror and admits the true nature of the display. As the staff are helping Glenn with Christmas lights, Mateo comments that Christmas is over-hyped which dismays Glenn. Glenn opines that Christmas is about looking back at the year's events which leads the staff to remember the many bad things that have happened. Glenn tries to get Mateo in the Christmas spirit by taking him to a hot cocoa station in the store but Mateo doesn't want any. Glenn is determined to show Mateo Christmas is more than fine and spots a soldier and a pregnant woman kissing. Believing this to be a magical moment, he asks about them and finds out the soldier accidentally shot a service animal and the baby may not be his. Mateo drags Glenn away as the couple argue. Glenn drags Mateo to see the child on Santa Garrett's lap and improve his Christmas spirit but they witness the end of Garrett and Jonah's argument punctuated with Jonah stomping off and kicking a giant candy cane. Glenn gets the store Christmas lights working and the dazzling display puts Mateo into the spirit.

"Viral Video": Glenn shows Garrett that a mass email he sent to the store's rewards (Blue Card) customers resulted in many being undeliverable which makes him suspect that Mateo is committing fraud in order to get the $1 sign-up bonus. In his office, Glenn asks Mateo if he made up rewards customers names which Mateo denies. Mateo reveals to Garrett that he has been creating fake Blue Card accounts. He creates a fake website for one of the fake customers to trick Glenn but Glenn recognizes the customer picture as a movie actor. Mateo has Jonah call the store pretending to be one of the fake Blue Card customers. Glenn takes the call thinking it is Mateo and insults him until Mateo appears beside Glenn. Glenn apologizes to Mateo for accusing him of signing up fake customers and offers to take him to lunch. As they are about to go to lunch in Glenn's car, Glenn mentions that the customer who called house is along the way to the restaurant so he'd like to drop by. Mateo calls Glenn's bluff. Glenn and Mateo arrive at the address of the fake customer's business which is a private residence. Even after a woman answers who knows nothing of the business, Mateo refuses to admit to his lie. Arriving back at the store, Mateo finally admits to Glenn he made up the customer and says he's sorry. When Glenn doesn't believe Mateo is repentant, Mateo asks what he as to do to prove it. Glenn says he needs to make a phone call. Glenn is seen immersing Mateo in a baptismal pool in Life's Works Church in order to forgive his sins.

"Golden Globes Party": At Amy's house for her Golden Globes Party, Glenn introduces his wife Jerusha to Amy who hugs Amy and tells her that people are usually happier after a divorce. She then presents Amy with a needlepoint of a hummingbird which she does for many people using an animal that represents their personality. Glenn mentions they need to leave early as they are trying to have a baby. Amy stops Glenn and his wife Jerusha from leaving by convincing Glenn to use her bedroom for sex. A dishevelled Glenn and Jerusha exit Amy's bedroom and make an excuse that they were fixing a table leg. Amy admits that the party is a bust and her life is in shambles. Glenn, Sandra and Jerusha encourage Amy with stories of others who are worse off than her. Amy says her goodbyes to everyone at the door and apologies. Glenn and Jerusha take the sheets from Amy's bed to wash.

"High Volume Store": In the Break Room, Glenn makes morning announcements which include a request for a surrogate mother because Jerusha can't have children due to an abnormal uterus. In his office, Glenn negotiates with a woman over the price to be his surrogate mother. Glenn realizes that the woman he's interviewing is a baby trafficker, not a surrogate. As Glenn tells his woes to Cheyenne, she accidentally volunteers to be the surrogate while encouraging Glenn. Glenn calls Jerusha with the good news. Glenn takes Cheyenne's picture for an embroidery Jerusha is making of her and as they talk Glenn realizes Cheyenne doesn't want to be his surrogate. He guesses that it's due to her husband Bo's objections which she lies is the reason. Bo arrives at the store so Glenn invites him and Cheyenne to meet in his office. Bo doesn't know that Glenn wants Cheyenne to be his surrogate but when he learns that Glenn will pay $20,000, he is on board. In Glenn's Office without Bo, Glenn goes over a pregnancy calendar with Cheyenne but when he realizes she doesn't want to be his surrogate he insults her so she'll quit. Dina tells Glenn the store won't be re-classified and sees he is depressed over not having a surrogate. He jokes with Dina about her being his surrogate. They insult each other but when Dina learns she'll make $20,000, she agrees and they shake hands warily.

"Angels and Mermaids": In the Break Room, Dina injects Glenn with saline as she believes that since she needs hormone injections to be his surrogate, Glenn has to suffer as well. In Glenn's Office, Glenn writes Dina a check and also asks her to sign a surrogacy agreement to which Dina takes offense but says she'll read. Dina brings Glenn many edits to the surrogate agreement which includes pictures of her privates which he throws away without looking at. In his office, Glenn has his lawyer Bruce look over Dina's demands which Bruce thinks is fine except for a few small details. Glenn introduces Dina to Bruce and assures her it is a friendly meeting. Bruce's talk to Dina is initially kind but then to Glenn's surprise he threatens litigation if Dina doesn't fulfill the agreement. Dina threatens Bruce back and leaves without signing the contract while Glenn tries unsuccessfully to calm both down. In the store, Glenn apologizes to Dina for Bruce's behaviour but she indicates that she'll be having sex with Marcus (much to his delighted surprise) and so might become pregnant. In the Break Room, Marcus is trying to understand the rules for having sex with Dina but she indicates that it was just a negotiation tactic with Glenn which leaves Marcus confused. Glenn arrives with Sandra who he says is his new surrogate. Dina gets frisky with Marcus while Glenn threatens to give Sandra a hormone shot all in front of Mateo who's had enough. He gets Glenn and Dina to make up leaving Marcus and Sandra feeling used and staring at each other.

"Groundhog Day": Glenn shows a picture of the embryo implanted in Dina to Jonah and Garrett which Garrett thinks looks like Elias. When Glenn sees Dina is working (against doctor's orders), he brings her to the garden center and makes her relax in a lounging chair over her protests. Glenn asks for a volunteer to be assistant manager for the day. Glenn is happy that Dina is relaxing but when he suggests Dina can do light work, she asks for more rest and for him to get her a complicated snack. Early the next day, Glenn enters the store to find Dina asleep on a couch in a costume. He's glad she's rested but when he tells her it's going to be a busy day and to get up, she fakes having pregnancy symptoms so Glenn tells her to rest. Over his protests, Glenn tells Garrett he is once again acting assistant manager and that Jonah and Kelly will do announcements. Glenn runs off to take care of Dina's birds. Glenn gives Dina a foot massage which makes him uncomfortable.

"Video Game Release": As Dina announces the release of a new video game "Barbarians Gate 3", Glenn wonders what happened to innocent video games absent of violence but the staff point out flaws in the games he mentions. Glenn and Sandra can't get the gamers to clear an aisle so Dina yells at the gamers and they comply. She then calls Glenn and Sandra useless. In the Stock Room, Glenn convinces Sandra that they should stop being doormats. Glenn and Sandra emerge from the Stock Room and begin berating customers for breaking minor rules. A nursing mother is sitting in a display area which forbids sitting and they make her leave much to her anger. Glenn and Sandra find the breastfeeding mother has brought many others to the store to stage a protest. In the Break Room, Glenn discusses the "nurse-in" with the staff. Dina wonders why the protest is occurring since the store allows breastfeeding to which Glenn lies he doesn't know and shuts down Sandra from revealing their earlier confrontation. A mother yells at Glenn that breastfeeding shouldn't be allowed in the store. Glenn and Sandra unsuccessfully plead with the breastfeeding mothers to move. Dina finds them pathetic and says she can't believe she's having Glenn's baby. Glenn looks shocked which surprises Dina since she texted Glenn that the impregnation worked. She then realizes that she texted the wrong Glenn. Glenn is overjoyed and gets teary while the mothers look on in confusion.

"Safety Training": Glenn discovers the mess from the fallen sign and as Kelly is about to admit to it being her fault, Amy takes responsibility. Glenn is surprised and tells Amy to clean the mess up. As Amy is about to re-hang the signs on a scissor lift, Glenn assigns Sandra to work with Amy and downplays the reasons why. Glenn gathers staff who have had accidents (which include Amy) for safety training. The staff wear orange trainee vests and Glenn takes them through the basics of mopping in the middle of the store. In the Warehouse, Glenn instructs staff on how to lift boxes. In the Break Room, Glenn watches Dina accidentally show the video of Amy kissing Jonah when the tornado hit the store.

"Amnesty": In Glenn's Office, Glenn can't believe Amy and Jonah kissed as he considered them good people and compares their actions to adultery. Dina tells Glenn that people are monsters and that he'd be shocked what they would admit to doing if the threat of punishment was removed. To prove her point, in the Break Room, Dina and Glenn announce that a staff member has committed a fireable offence and if the person comes forward, total amnesty will be given. A customer approaches Glenn and Dina complaining that no one is working cash. To Dina's delight, they find a mob of staff outside Glenn's Office waiting to confess offences. Glenn and Dina listen to confessions from Carol, Corey, Isaac, Mateo, Myrtle and Sandra. In the Break Room, Glenn introduces Pastor Craig to deal with the souls of the staff. Pastor Craig finishes his session which Glenn is disappointed with. Dina tells Glenn that destroying his world view has been the highlight of her year. Glenn asks Garrett if he committed any offences and when Garrett admits to none, Glenn calls him good and kisses him on the head. Dina finds Glenn's ability to delude himself impressive.

"Target": A going away party is held in the Break Room for Jeff. Glenn reminisces a bland story about Jeff and mentions to Jeff that the café is popular with the unemployed but Jeff says he's a manager at a Target store. He kids with Glenn about being the competition and they play fight until Glenn accidentally punches Jeff in the throat. In the store, Glenn tells Amy, Justine and Mateo he's worried as Jeff knows all the store's secrets and will be stiff competition. Garrett enters Glenn's Office and asks Glenn for a raise but Glenn is so worried about Target that he rebuffs Garrett. Garrett lies that Jeff offered him more money to work at Target so Glenn calls Jeff and leaves an angry voice mail that they need to meet. In Glenn's Office, Glenn tells Jeff that they need to agree to not "pooch" (poach) each other's staff. Jeff agrees but Glenn still takes offence and continually sprays Jeff with water from a squirt bottle. Incensed, Jeff leaves and tries to poach Glenn's staff. Glenn tries to sing over Jeff's speech and gloats that Jeff can't poach Garrett. Glenn announces that Jeff is banned from the store and starts pushing the ladder towards the exit. Glenn and Garrett visit the Target Jeff said he works at intent on poaching staff. Glenn is impressed with the store. Glenn and Garrett try to poach a number of Target employees. Glenn forces business cards on numerous staff, relates the store's romances and hates and deludes himself that the Target staff are poached. They approach a staff member from behind adjusting a baby stroller and Glenn screams when Cheyenne turns around. At Target, while eating popcorn, Glenn commiserates with Garrett that they work at an inferior store. Owen, a Target employee, tells them they can't eat on store display furniture but Cheyenne explains that they are her friends. Owen's heard Cheyenne speak of Glenn but not Garrett.

"District Manager": In the Break Room, Glenn nervously announces the impending arrival of the new district manager, Laurie, points out she's a woman and asks the staff to not act weird. She arrives and Glenn introduces her like she's a queen. In Glenn's Office, Dina confirms with Glenn that they should keep her pregnancy a secret as Dina believes that some bosses don't like "preggos". Glenn tries to convince Laurie to not fire Myrtle without success. Glenn wants to wait until end of day to tell Myrtle and in the meantime, to show her a perfect day. Glenn asks Myrtle what her perfect day at the store would be until Garrett interrupts. At the café, Glenn introduces TV weatherman Skipper Sailes to Myrtle who Glenn mistakenly thinks is Myrtle's favorite weatherman. Myrtle says another weatherman is her favorite and leaves. In the parking lot, Glenn discovers that Myrtle always wanted to drive a Cloud 9 Delivery Truck so he gets her into the driver's seat of one. In the parking lot, Glenn and Marcus watch Myrtle crash the truck into Glenn's SUV. Leaving the store, Amy curses about Laurie to Jonah. They see the delivery truck on its side and Myrtle shouts it was her best day ever. Glenn tells Myrtle she's fired and keeps chanting "best day".

"Local Vendors Day": At the store front, Glenn announces "Local Vendors Day", where small business owners can set up shop in the store. He remarks on a vendor selling needlepoint who Dina points out is Glenn's wife Jerusha. Not wanting to show bias towards her, Glenn denies she's his wife. Jerusha goes along with the ruse and Glenn calls her a "beautiful stranger". The staff start to kid Glenn that he has an open marriage and when it's explained to him what this means, they jokingly threaten to tattle to her that he's cheating resulting in Glenn shouting at Jerusha to not answer her phone. Glenn notices Jerusha isn't selling much so he tells several staff at the café, especially Sandra, they should buy one of her items. They are reluctant but he pressures them until they go over. Glenn asks some staff if he's pressured them to buy things. Sandra, Kelly and Justine all recall past events that led to hardship due to Glenn's pressuring. He vows to never pressure them again. Jerusha's sales plummet requiring Glenn to comfort her. He promises that sales will pick up. Glenn secretly gives a customer $200 to buy items from Jerusha but the customer goes to the wrong table. In the Break Room, Glenn asks the staff "as a pal" if anyone wants to buy something from Jerusha. Everyone turns him down flatly. Glenn yells that everyone has to buy something or he'll fire them. Everyone leaves in a rush except Sandra who tries to finish her lunch which Glenn throws in the garbage. Jerusha has sold all her items and she exits the store with Glenn's admiration. All the staff are seen wearing her hats and scarves.

"Lottery": In the Break Room, Glenn announces that the Missouri Lottery jackpot is the most it has been in 20 years. While stocking a toilet aid, Amy nervously tries to ask Glenn for a raise but is interrupted by a customer with a question on the aid. Amy blurts out that she wants a raise. Glenn tells her that only Laurie can give raises. In the Break Room, Glenn gives a Cloud 9 personal budgeting session to the staff. Amy asks why the company can't just pay everyone more. Glenn responds with Cloud 9 advice on the use of social services. A huge line-up of lottery players has formed in front of Garrett. Glenn discovers Myrtle in the line-up. She tells Glenn that her new job is collecting cans for which she has to get up at 3:00am. He offers her $30 for the cans and she hopes she wins the lottery as she's living in a motel and running out of money.

"Gender Reveal": At the obstetrician's office, Glenn and Jerusha marvel at the ultrasound of the baby Dina is carrying for them. In the Break Room, Glenn and Jerusha show the ultrasound to the staff. Glenn has the sex of the baby in an envelope and is about to open it but the staff have various ideas how the gender should be revealed. In his office, Glenn is tempted to open the envelope so he gives it to Garrett with orders not to tell him the contents. After watching a horrible video of an animal birth, Dina tells Amy and Glenn that she doesn't want to carry the baby anymore. In Glenn's Office, she panics and offers inane ideas of how to rid herself of the baby including an analogy of the baby to garbage which distresses Glenn. In the store, Glenn asks Amy for advice on baby gifts for the party which pushes Amy's anxiety over the edge about her recently discovered pregnancy. At the gender reveal party, Glenn starts to make an announcement but Jerusha notices Dina is absent, much to Garrett's relief so Glenn postpones the reveal. Glenn gets impatient and cuts the cake. Everyone is disappointed that the filling doesn't reveal the baby gender. Sandra says Garrett was supposed to take care of the reveal but when Glenn questions him, Garrett admonishes everyone for defining the baby by its sex.

"Aftermath": In the Break Room, Glenn gives morning announcements and puts Amy on the spot when he mentions Mother's Day is coming up. In Glenn's Office, Dina and Glenn are giving a quarterly report by phone and learn that the store is on the short list to host a town hall with Cloud 9's CEO since they survived a tornado. They are asked for a staff photo and interrupt Garrett making an announcement about a missing child to tell all staff to meet at the store front for a group photo. Outside at the store front, Glenn makes Sandra take the staff photo and she complains that she does it every year. Glenn asks everyone to put their arms around each other and has to force Jonah to hold Amy. In the Photo Lab, Dina, Garrett and Glenn look at the group photo. Dina and Glenn decide that a staff video is needed which Garrett thinks is excessive. Glenn over-rides Garrett's concerns and gets a rare compliment from Dina. Filming begins with Cheyenne who isn't convincing when she recalls how she thought she was going to die during the tornado. Filming continues with Mateo who Glenn says is being too dramatic. He then gives a convincing performance which moves Glenn but the camera is turned off. At a store TV, Glenn introduces the staff video and Dina pretends she's at a premiere on the runway. During the video, Dina and Glenn say they got through the tornado like a family and Dina tolerates Glenn putting his arm around her shoulder.

"Town Hall": In the Break Room, Laurie goes over the agenda for the town hall which includes Glenn speaking and live streaming to every Cloud 9 store in the world which concerns Glenn. Garrett catches Glenn worrying about speaking at the town hall and wolfing down antacids. As they do the math on how many people could be watching, Glenn's anxiety increases. Laurie introduces Glenn to Neil, Cloud 9's CEO. Glenn is extremely nervous and stammers inappropriate comments on an employee at the store who is also named Glenn. The town hall starts with Neil introducing Glenn and is seen in Cloud 9 stores around the world. Glenn joins Neil on stage but as he launches into his speech, a fart is heard. Total silence envelopes the town hall while the staff stifle laughs and the global viewers watch. Neil takes the mic from Glenn who blames the fart on Neil. They argue about who is the culprit is until Neil dismisses Glenn from the stage. After Jeff betrays the staff, Glenn approaches them and insults Jeff and Neil.

Season Four

We are living in a brave, new, MeToo, Time's Up, "This Is Us" kind of world. There are no rules anymore. But also, there's nothing but rules.

–Glenn, "Back To School".

Season Overview

Glenn's fear of not abiding by #MeToo leads him to allow Amy to hold a very frank Q&A session with the staff regarding her and Jonah's sex tape. Glenn piggybacks a baby shower for Jerusha onto a baby shower Amy doesn't want. Alarmed with Kelly's transfer request, Glenn awards her the Golden Vest. Glenn thinks an automatic cart collector has become sentient when it won't stop following him. As Dina gives birth in a surgical bay, Glenn struggles with the gore. Glenn calls Amy into work even though she's just returned home from having her baby. In order to stop Glenn from telling Jonah's parents that he works at the store, Amy hits Glenn in the face with a yam. Citizenship checks of the employees results in Mateo trying to hide his undocumented status and getting a big favor from Glenn.


Episodes
"Back To School": Working at a diner while she's suspended from Cloud 9, Amy serves a trucker who is Glenn in disguise. She doesn't let on that she knows it's Glenn who has been visiting every day and tips her $20 every visit. He's glad to hear Amy is going back to her old job and hints he'll be seeing her soon. Back at work at the store, Amy tells Glenn that she's relieved no one is bothering her about the sex incident. He posits such an incident is more embarrassing for a woman to be caught in than a man which Amy finds sexist. Glenn quickly back-tracks and apologizes. Amy gathers the staff and says she's not embarrassed about the sex tape and announces she likes sex which Glenn supports and impresses upon Noam. When Dina calls a sexual harassment meeting, Glenn puts Kelly in charge of a skeleton crew of staff to run the store. At the meeting, Glenn tries to understand who harassed who in the sex tape. In order to win Mateo back, Jeff brings a virtual Myrtle to the store which impresses no one. Glenn says it's not Myrtle and walks away in disgust.

"Baby Shower": In the Warehouse, a photo shoot of Dina, Glenn and Jerusha as "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is going poorly due to Dina's sour attitude. Wanting to document the events leading up to their child's birth, Glenn offers Dina $50 to smile which she does, woodenly. At Coffee & Bakery, Jonah orders a cake and is met by Glenn who's heard about the shower. He mentions how much Jerusha would love one and takes Jonah's reply to mean Amy's shower will be for Jerusha too. Glenn starts to plan a full blown shower. At the shower, Glenn participates in speeches and games, but after Bo loses to Glenn in a stroller race, he accuses Glenn of cheating and throws his stroller down an aisle. After Amy opens her presents, which were all disappointments, Jerusha points out she forgot theirs. To Amy's delight, Glenn gives her the baby car seat she's wanted and she hugs Glenn.

"Toxic Work Environment": In Glenn's Office, Kelly asks for a transfer to a store closer to her home which alarms Glenn. He offers to force Jonah to be with Kelly again and makes an inane comment about working close to home. Glenn tells Mateo that he'd like to take employee of the month away from him and give it to Kelly. Perturbed, Mateo points out that while Kelly is a great person, she's a bad worker which Glenn acknowledges. Glenn calls together a number of staff and presents Kelly with a made-up award, the Golden Vest, hoping this will motivate her to stay. As Kelly asks Glenn if he's signed her transfer papers, he asks her not to go and points out the love in the store just as Sandra pushes Carol and her cart into a display. In Glenn's office, Dina and Glenn discuss the staff problems. Glenn blames himself but Dina is more concerned with a bad analogy Glenn making to a rotting fish. Glenn gathers the staff for a toxic workplace talk in the Break Room and when he asks what could cause this, Amy and Jonah play up their mock dislike. Glenn asks for criticism which Dina really wants to express, but he picks Amy. Encouraged, Amy gives a mild rebuke which takes Glenn a while to get over. In order to make Kelly happy, Jonah manipulates Glenn into believing that she is the cause of the troubles with the store's culture. At the front door, as Kelly happily leaves with a box, Glenn and Mateo say goodbye with Mateo now wearing the Golden Vest.

"Costume Competition": In Glenn's Office, Amy is on speaker phone with Cloud 9 Corporate, unsuccessfully trying to reduce her hours due to her swollen feet from being pregnant. Glenn gets uncomfortable when personal questions are asked and then seeks advice on swallowing a watermelon seed. In the store, Glenn announces that a pilot program for an automatic cart collector is underway and, that a costume competition for a paid vacation day will be held. Glenn catches Isaac, Marcus and Sandra playing with the collector, takes the fob and orders them back into the store. Not knowing the collector follows the fob, he puts it in his bag and is confused when it starts following him. In the parking lot, Glenn frantically runs around with the collector following him. Calling Jonah to witness, he puts the bag with the fob down beside the collector, runs back and forth and is confused when it doesn't follow him. At the store entrance, Jonah brings Glenn his bag with the fob which he forgot in the parking lot. As Glenn walks into the store, the collector follows him inside. While helping a customer, Glenn sees the collector paralleling his movements in another aisle. He panics, tips over an item holder in its path and runs. Glenn sees Garrett making a mess of a pile of sweaters, looking for thick ones to block the store's speakers. Panicking because of the collector, he asks if robots are now sentient and Garrett's reply sends Glenn fleeing. Glenn is seen driving home with the cart collector following him. He calls Jerusha and instructs her to be waiting for him at home with a go-bag and a shotgun to flee.

"Delivery Day": Glenn and Dina tell the staff they are leaving for the hospital to induce labor. In Dina's room, Glenn and Dina argue and are interrupted by the handsome Dr. Sidian. Smitten, Dina jokes with him and when he leaves, she wants to have Sidian deliver her baby instead of the doctor she's been seeing for nine months. As Dr. Sidian examines Dina, she flirts with him and cues Glenn and Jerusha to compliment her which they do in an awkward fashion. Dr. Sidian indicates she'll need a C-section which causes Dina anxiety, made worse by a story from Jerusha. Dina's anxiety has reached fever pitch as she's being wheeled to surgery and as Glenn consoles her, he discovers to his discomfort that he's expected to be in the surgical bay. He agrees to go in when Dina pleads with him. In the surgical bay, Glenn gets in the way of the medical staff while Jerusha holds Dina's hand. Glenn sees Dina's intestines which causes him to vomit in his surgical mask but this doesn't stop him from being thrilled when Dina gives birth to a girl. Later in Dina's hospital room, Glenn thanks her and when Dina wants time alone with the baby, Glenn reassures Jerusha that Dina can't kidnap her as he's sealed the windows.

"Maternity Leave": In the nursery at her house, Amy has just gotten her new baby boy Parker to sleep when the phone rings. It's Glenn who informs her that due to her suspension, she doesn't qualify for maternity leave. After Glenn hires a poor performing seasonal worker, Kimmer, Garrett and Jonah manipulate Glenn into allowing them to conduct the interviews for the last seasonal hire position. Amy asks if she can use Glenn's office to pump her breasts and while initially agreeing, he becomes more uncomfortable as his office is filled with pictures of his new baby. He tells Amy she can use the "lactation room" which turns out to be a utility closet. After Garrett and Jonah hire Penny, they regret it as she goofily sings and dances while working, which embarrasses them when Glenn sees her. Bothered by a phone call from Adam while walking through the store, Glenn gives Amy a gift which pushes her over the edge. Ranting about all her medical issues and exhaustion, she screams at Glenn to kill himself which results in him running to his car in tears. In Glenn's office, Amy apologizes to Glenn who in turn says he's sorry, as he considers the gift he offered her inadequate. To make up for this, Glenn reaches behind his desk and gives Amy a puppy. Not wanting to hurt Glenn's feelings, she reluctantly takes the dog and leaves.

"New Initiative": At the store front, Glenn and Dina explain a new Cloud 9 policy to the staff which is making small talk with customers. Mateo corrects Glenn's pronunciation of a new store slogan. Glenn tries to convince a customer to buy a printer once she hears that an on-line company has same day delivery. With growing concern, Glenn deals with a customer who is buying items with the intent of killing his mother. However, when the customer says he'll buy bleach on-line, Glenn helps him. Glenn catches Amy and Jonah with the Simms and as he starts treating Jonah like an employee, the Simms become confused. As Jonah tries to explain without revealing he works there, he lets slip that the Simms are his parents. As Glenn introduces himself and is about to say Jonah is an employee, Amy yells at Glenn and hits him in the face with a yam. In private, Amy explains Jonah's secret to Glenn. Jonah arrives and further explains that he didn't want to disappoint his parents that he was working at a retail store which concerns Glenn. Amy tries to deflect Glenn's concern by citing the Simms' unreasonable expectations of Jonah. In Glenn's Office, Glenn tries to fire Jonah, believing he's setting him free to pursue his dreams. Seeing what Glenn is doing, Jonah assures him that he's alright working at the store.

"Managers' Conference": Glenn offers tickets to a managers' conference to Amy and Jonah who initially aren't interested until they find out it's in Chicago and they get to stay together in a hotel. Glenn announces that he's required to check all employees' citizenship status through an on-line system and has discovered a problem. The issue is with Sayid who Glenn discovers is a Syrian refugee and feels bad for not knowing his status. When Glenn hears that Sayid is shoveling snow, he feels Sayid has been through enough hardship and tells Mateo to take over for him and assigns Garrett to the gift wrapping station. Mateo and Cheyenne engage in an obviously practiced conversation that Syrians are liars and place doubt in Glenn's mind as to Sayid's trustworthiness. Glenn tells Mateo that Sayid reported his undocumented status. Glenn checked Mateo's SSN which belongs to a woman in Buffalo. Mentioning that the SSN in his file is wrong, Mateo then hesitantly gives a new SSN which Glenn can see is a lie. Glenn arrives and tells Mateo that his SSN checked out. Relieved, Mateo then realizes that Glenn is lying. Glenn wishes Mateo a Merry Christmas and giving him a knowing look, turns away.

"Shadowing Glenn":

Trivia

  • Glenn is involved in several running gags including Glenn's Cars, Glenn's monkey puppet and Glenn's tie which are referenced in the appropriate episodes.
  • Glenn is an Uber driver in his spare time. ("Shots and Salsa")
  • Glenn tells Cheyenne that his family built the first ships that brought Africans to America, not realizing what this means. ("Super Hot Store")
  • He first learned to ride a bike when he was 19. ("Wellness Fair")
  • Every morning, he eats a loaf of banana bread (seasoned with taco mix) prepared by Jerusha. ("Tornado")
  • He loves sugary drinks and, takes 13 sugars in his coffee. ("Wellness Fair") ("Spring Cleaning") ("Back To School")
  • In 2014, he sported a mullet. ("Safety Training")
  • His office phone number is 314-555-0168. ("Target")
  • Glenn is part of a Goof in "Secret Shopper". In Glenn's Office, as he talks to Jonah thinking he is the "secret employee", his collar is unbuttoned, then buttoned when he asks for a raise, then unbuttoned when he mentions a tin of candies, then buttoned when he eats a candy. Also, the black lamp behind Glenn is pointed left, then right, then left.
  • Glenn is part of another Goof in "All-Nighter". During the scene where the group is sitting in a circle sharing regrets, Glenn's tie flips back and forth with and without a stain, is tied tight and loose and, his right collar is buttoned and unbuttoned.
  • He's part of another Goof in "Groundhog Day". Glenn arrives at work in the cartoon clouds tie and finds that Dina has slept over night in the store. He's then in a rush to leave and take care of Dina's birds but is then wearing the many clouds tie.

Quotes

For 59 years, the name Sturgis was synonymous with tools.Glenn, "All-Nighter".
If you can be gay that means anyone can be gay!Glenn to Jeff, "Wellness Fair".
No, we're all gonna fire whoever we all say. Together. As a family.Glenn, "Tornado".
Amy nametag Superstore Characters
Main Characters
Amy DubanowskiDina FoxCheyenne LeeMateo LiwanagGarrett McNeillJonah SimmsGlenn Sturgis
Other Cloud 9 Employees
AlishaArthurBrettCarmenCarolChrisCodyCoreyCorporate WomanCynthiaDomDougieEarlEliasEugeneHeatherHenryHermanIsaacJanetJodiJustineKellyKelseyKenKyle the Cloud 9 CloudLaurieLisaMarcusMaryMC Cool CloudMilesMyrtleNeilNickNoamOpalPennyPeterPhotographerRexRogerSalSandraSarahSayidSkipSteveSueJeff SutinTateTravis/Tim
Season One minor employeesSeason Two minor employeesSeason Three minor employeesSeason Four minor employees
Relatives
Adam DubanowskiEmma DubanowskiBobbie SueBrandiCastorKristenLeoMarilyn SimmsRichard SimmsConnie SosaRon SosaJerusha SturgisBo Derek ThompsonHarmonica ThompsonT'OliverTimurZoe
Visitors
AlexAmberAndyBobby SuhBridgettCharlesColeDennisDevonDorothyEricErickHankHank (soldier)HowieJerryJessJulieKathyLarry/BruceLydiaMaggieMichelleMikeMissy JonesMo FrankNaomiNikkiNurse EllaOwenPastor CraigRussellScottShannonStuartSydTimTomUptight LadyWaiterWalterWilliam