Season: Two — Episode: 0 Director: Ruben Fleischer — Writer: Jonathan Green — Aired: August 19, 2016 — Viewers (millions): 9.67 Summary: Glenn holds a store Olympic opening, Amy meets her childhood idol, Mateo learns of a secret from his past, Dina plans a memorable closing ceremony.
And now, to light the Cloud 9 Olympic cauldron is store 1217's oldest living employee, Myrtle!
In celebration of the 2016 Olympics, Glenn holds the store's own Olympics opening ceremony featuring the employees marching to the store front holding various products while he announces over them over the P.A. system. (♫ Apollo Overture ♫) He then announces that Myrtle will light a cauldron. Glenn is distracted by Dina and Myrtle lights a stack of toilet paper. (♫ Lee Greenwood - God Bless the USA ♫) Jonah alerts Glenn who tries to put the fire out but instead, blows it into a BBQ and lighter fluid display. Fire and panic spreads in the store. Amy and Jonah watch the mannequin that looks like Jonah ("Mannequin"), dressed in a USA uniform, burn.
An American hero!
In the Break Room seventeen days later, Glenn announces an Olympics closing day ceremony. Dinah argues with him and says she'll do it since his poor planning led to the opening ceremony disaster. He also announces that gold medal winning gymnast Missy Jones will be at the store who is an idol of Amy's. Glenn asks about Mateo's Philippines flag pin which he is wearing to show pride for his home country. Glenn is a bit put off Mateo isn't cheering for the USA and gives inane reasons why the USA is "number one" in countries and planets. A customer looks at the charred mannequin that looks like Jonah. (♫ Romantics - What I Like About You ♫)
Amy is too shy to approach Missy Jones so Dina goes over and Amy follows. Dina asks Missy about sex in the Olympic village which Missy won't answer. Amy tries talking to Missy but she's so nervous that Missy takes her hand and tells Amy that she's the best in the world at being herself. Amy is amazed while Dina returns with more sex questions. Glenn approaches Mateo and points out American made products, rivers and starts singing ♫ America the Beautiful ♫ which Mateo joins in singing quizzically. Pregnant Cheyenne overhears Amy raving about Missy Jones and what she'd accomplished when she was 16 which makes Cheyenne feels like an under achiever. She runs away crying. Tara Lipinsky spins on a wet patch Brett is mopping. (♫ Mike Posner - I Took a Pill in Ibiza ♫)
Your eyes are like lasers.
In the Stock Room, Jonah and Amy try to comfort Cheyenne but Amy makes her feel worse when Cheyenne realizes she's not taking pre-natal classes. Amy tries the "best in the world" routine that Missy Jones did to her on Cheyenne but it has no effect. Dina watches the Beijing Olympics closing ceremony and proposes some outlandish ideas for her closing ceremony to Garrett. He tries to get her to be more realistic. Apolo Ohno tries to get past a woman pushing a cart. (♫ Meghan Trainor - No ♫) Glenn models US made blue jeans for Mateo who then complains to Jonah that Asian Americans can't vote. Jonah is confused when Mateo talks about the "Green Card Store" and it dawns on Mateo that he may be an illegal alien. He talks to his grandma and confirms it.
Try getting these in Ma-nai-la!
Amy brings Cheyenne to meet Missy Jones who inspires them both with a "dream card" she'd written "Olympics" on when she was five. Missy pinned this on her bedroom wall as a reminder of her goal and imparted that the "magic" in achieving goals lies within. Cheyenne is impressed. Glenn starts criticizing the Philippines to Jonah who teaches Glenn that the Olympics is about bringing countries together. Missy says goodbye to Amy and Cheyenne who is so inspired that she's decided to quit school and become an Olympic gymnast. In the Break Room, Amy and Jonah try to talk Cheyenne out of becoming a gymnast but when she starts to become discouraged again, Amy supports her new dream. McKayla Moroney smirks in a mirror. (♫ Fetty Wap - 679 ♫)
Guess where the real magic is.
In the Break Room, Glenn is now trying to be inclusive and has brought different world food. He positively mentions the Philippines to Mateo who because of his undocumented status, has now become very USA patriotic. Cheyenne uses clothing racks as parallel bars but slips and falls. (♫ Bachman Turner Overdrive - You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet ♫) In the Stock Room, Dina and Garrett holds auditions for the closing ceremonies. Justine says she can sing so Dina has her try ♫ Car Wash ♫. Dina fails her almost immediately and says she has a terrible voice. Sandra says she can remember everything that happened every day of her life. Dina finds that excruciating which Sandra says she said the last time she told Dina about her memory. Dina proclaims the auditions a failure in disagreement with Garrett so she fires him from planning the closing ceremony.
Cheyenne is showing some staff Missy's "dream card" technique but she is espousing that anything written on a card will come true. Amy and Jonah interrupt and try to inject some realism. After reviewing outlandish dreams from Marcus, Elias, Freddy, Sarah and Carol, Amy's frustration boils over and she says that if the dream cards worked, Garrett could walk. He sarcastically writes "walk" on a card and says it didn't change anything. Cheyenne is disappointed Amy doesn't believe in her dream and walks away. Marcus takes Elias' card which is to have sex with a certain famous movie starlet. Amy seeks out Cheyenne who knows the dream cards don't work, but it was just nice to imagine for a while.
That'll happen Marcus.
Mateo goes to Glenn's Office to confess he's not a citizen but Glenn takes his words to mean that he doesn't feel accepted. Glenn says Mateo is an American and he is Filipino and asks for Mateo's Philippines flag pin. He slaps it onto his chest, it pierces his skin and bone and he grimaces in pain. With the store closing, the staff walk out into the night. The store's outside lights go out, a cauldron begins burning, flares go off and music blares. (♫ Scorpions - Rock You Like a Hurricane ♫) Performers in lighted costumes dance and fireworks go off. Glenn hugs Mateo and says this show could happen in any country. A helicopter appears carrying Dina on a rope ladder who trumpets her awesome closing ceremony to Glenn using a megaphone.
The awesome closing ceremony.
Suck it Glenn!
Amy's name tag: Amy wears a different name tag in every episode. For this one it's "Gemma".
Crazy Customers and music: For all customer interludes and music see Olympics (music).
Glenn's tie: Large cartoon clouds. Only episode Glenn doesn't wear a tie clip.
The translation of what Mateo says on the phone to his grandmother is:
"Grandma, do you remember what we bought for me before? So that green card was counterfeit? So that means I'm not an American citizen? And we can watch Spiderman legally on Netflix?"
Goof 1: During the opening ceremony, Myrtle can be seen at the end of the procession. A few seconds later, Glenn calls for her and she is much further back behind a shelving unit.
Goof 2: In the scene where Dina is in the Stock Room holding auditions for the closing ceremonies, Darren is standing in between Sandra and Travis but he disappears after Dina talks to Sandra. Actor Hermie Castillo who plays Darren received a screen credit indicating that it's likely he spoke in a deleted scene which would account for his disappearance.
In a deleted scene, Glenn and Mateo sing "America the Beautiful" for much longer and in harmony. See Gallery for the video.
“Is it true that the Olympic Village is basically just a three-week-long Slammerama?”— Dina
Superstore - Glenn and Mateo's Sing-Along (Deleted Scene)
Amy gets the opportunity to meet her childhood idol; Glenn struggles to balance his excessive patriotism; Jonah discovers a secret about Mateo's past; Dina works to create a memorable closing ceremony. (Viewers: 9.67 million)
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