So you can't ask someone out unless you know they like you? But then you don't know if someone likes you unless you ask them out, so that's, like, a Catch-22.
On Valentine's Day 2016, Miles grabs the store microphone from Garrett and starts professing his love for fellow employee Lisa. He's prepared a dance flash mob marriage proposal. (♫ Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes - (I've Had) The Time of My Life ♫) Much to his dismay, Lisa was in the bathroom and he had to repeat his proposal when she arrived. Miles and Lisa's relationship has Glenn wondering if other staff are a good love match. Amy doesn't think playing matchmaker at work is a good idea. Jonah sees an attractive woman (Shannon) who he thinks is a repeat shoplifter. He meets Dina in the Surveillance Office and offers to act as a plainclothes detective in order to catch Shannon in the act. Sandra is perpetuating her fake relationship with Jeff by sending herself flowers at work which she then shows to the staff much to Mateo's annoyance.
Mateo leaves and Cheyenne blabs to Garrett that Sandra's relationship is fake and Mateo is the one dating Jeff. A man squeezes balloons into a small car. (♫ Brian McKnight - Back at One ♫) At the front door, elderly greeter Arthur is sweetly saying hello to a little girl. Myrtle walks by and Amy sees Arthur swoon. Arthur confesses that he has a crush on Myrtle and dreams of feeding the ducks with her. Jonah is following Shannon but nearly has his cover blown by Dina and Glenn. Amy hears Myrtle mention she'll feed the ducks later and asks if she dates anymore. Myrtle asks Amy to set her up. Amy sends Arthur to work in women's wear with Myrtle in the hopes they'll hit it off and Cheyenne becomes the store greeter. In the Surveillance Office Amy and Glenn watch Arthur and Myrtle but it doesn't appear they are interacting.
The duck couple.
Garrett and Mateo watch as Sandra "receives" an extravagant Valentine's gift from Jeff. Mateo is jealous of the fake relationship and Garrett notices. Jonah accidentally flies a drone into Shannon's head and they begin talking. A woman puts her gum in a display teacup. (♫ NSYNC - (God Must Have Spent) a Little More Time on You ♫) Dina and Garrett watch Jonah becoming increasingly friendly with Shannon until it dawns on Dina that Jonah is hoping to date her. In the Break Room, Amy and Glenn are waiting for Myrtle having filled her locker with Valentine's gifts which are purportedly from Arthur. They encourage her to look at a card but when she sees Arthur's name, she burst into tears and exclaims that he won't leave her alone. (♫ Michael Jackson - Rockin' Robin ♫)
This is costing Sandra a lot.
In Glenn's Office, Amy and Glenn are on the phone with corporate who informs them that Myrtle has filed a sexual harassment complaint against them both and Arthur. Corporate relates Myrtle's complaint to Amy and Glenn and while the facts are essentially true, it misrepresents their well-meaning intent. Glenn's responses also worsen the situation. Mateo and Cheyenne watch as Sandra shows off a watch she "received" from Jeff. Mateo is now acting like Jeff is actually sending Sandra gifts. Jonah and Shannon have really hit it off. He asks her out and she accepts. In the Surveillance Office, Jonah tells Dina that Shannon isn't the shoplifter. Dina questions him and appears to accept his evaluation until he leaves, then she becomes visibly angry.
In order to further Mateo's jealousy, Garrett plays a romantic song on the P.A. system which he says is from Jeff to Sandra. (♫ Rose Royce - I Wanna Get Next to You ♫) Amy goes to the jewellery counter to apologize to Myrtle. Myrtle says Arthur was saying filth such as he liked her sweater. Amy wonders if Myrtle mis-interpreted what Arthur said so Myrtle accuses Amy of blaming the victim. As they begin to argue, several customers join in the conversation and take everything Amy is saying to extremes. Finally, when Amy says Myrtle "asked for it" (a date), they all gasp. As a result, Jeff shows the staff a training video on sexual harassment starring Corporate Woman in the Break Room.
Fewer law suits benefits Cloud 9.
The video over, Jeff asks for questions. Glenn objects to the video saying love can't be taken out of the work place. He points to Miles and Lisa and remarks that if there was no workplace romance, they wouldn't have gotten together and their future children wouldn't be born. Lisa says they aren't having kids which shocks Miles. Jeff clarifies that dating someone at work is OK, it is unwanted advances that are the issue. Cheyenne says this is a Catch-22 as you don't know if someone likes you until you ask them out. Further clarifying, Jeff says you can ask someone out, but if they say no, move on. Marcus asked Sarah out but instead of saying no, she made an excuse that she was busy. Marcus asks Jeff about this situation, can he ask her out again. Reading the situation is Jeff's answer. Marcus asks for clarification from Sarah and she is emphatic that she doesn't want to date Marcus.
It's the second one!
Glenn relates a story of persistence which resulted in his wife Jerusha, who was working at Glenn's father's hardware store, finally saying yes to dating him. Mateo asks if ignoring someone you're dating is harassment to which Jeff replies no. Mateo finds this ironic. Glenn further clarifies his story - Jerusha agreed to date him to avoid being fired. Cheyenne comments that it's not harassment if you end up marrying the person being targeted. Arthur apologizes to Myrtle and offers to quit, which she wants. Amy defends Arthur and he compliments Myrtle nicely and then starts to harass her to everyone's surprise. It dawns on Glenn that he did harass his wife. A therapy dog tears into a teddy bear. (♫ Heart - All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You ♫)
What have I done?
Jeff leads Mateo to the dressing rooms and gives him a Valentine's gift - a key chain. After seeing all the expensive gifts that Sandra was sending to herself but saying they were from Jeff, Mateo is disappointed. Jeff asks if Mateo is angry because of the secrecy and calls Mateo his boyfriend which Mateo is overjoyed to hear. As Jonah and Shannon leave the store for their date, Dina intercepts them pretending to be Jonah's wife. She starts arguing with him and Shannon leaves. Glenn calls Jerusha to apologize for harassing her. Mateo and Garrett see Sandra with another fake gift from Jeff - puppies. Garrett tries to antagonize Mateo but he's still happy Jeff has defined their relationship. Amy and Jonah work late and have fun destroying the Valentines decorations. (♫ Pop Levi - Wannamama ♫) Brett works on a St. Patrick's Day display.
I'm your boyfriend?
Amy's name tag: Amy wears a different name tag in every episode. For this one it's "Peggy".
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